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User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Red vs Cloverfield. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5
OH LOOK GUYS IT'S FUCKING RED VS CLOVER. RED VS CLOVER CAN YOU BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD IT'S RED VS CLOVER RED VS CLOVER HAPPENED GUYS OH MY GOD yes okay i finally fucking did this suggestion can you stop suggesting it to me now. the matchup was originally suggested by guess fucking who. you were wrong. it was BTTF. BackToTheFuckingFuturama suggested this one time and holy shit it took off from there. Enough ranting about how many times this has been suggested, welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5. This battle features two characters v dear to my heart and also yea it got rewritten like, six times. It was also moved, originally going to be the starter of the next set but got replaced due to some schedule shiftiness, and now that brings us up to here. In today's matchup, two towering kaiju go at it once again, unnamed monster from Manhattan, The Large Scale Aggressor also known as Clover somehow raps against the shit-talking antagonist from NES Godzilla Creepypasta, Red. This one started off fun to write, got a little tedious later on. i need to start using people with more material smh As always, hope you enjoy, lend me your thoughts. Artists of the thumbnail fanart linked here and here Beat Intro Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! VS! BEGIN! The Battle Clover: Resurfacing from an ocean crib comes the opus of your hopelessness, Who’ll overload the slowest glitch with most ferocious motion sickness! You want to Combat, Kaiju? Your writing’s always been the laziest, This Shadow’s getting lit up by a Golden Light, but it’s not Acacius! I’ll topple a colossal Lobster no matter how many times he shape-shifts I’m comprised of ground-breaking CGI! You’re just a gallery of fake pics! Watch you rage quit versus the greatest rated that even Face picks, So take the easy way out and Kill Yourself; Red went like an 8-Bitch! Red: Your rapping matches your movie’s atmosphere when you’re attacking me, Because much like half the film, I couldn’t tell what the fuck was happening Ground-Breaking CGI? I look realer than you on the NES, And as far as amphibian Kaiju stretch, Godzilla is Still the Best You Can Die like the Rest! As you choke across all four of your lungs, Since this twenty-four story M.U.T.O. couldn’t size up to my lunch! When I vomit a verbal bombing to decimate you worse than the first one, GET OUT of here! This brain dead train-head should’ve known when to RUN Clover: Take your recycled schemes to the title screen; You’re a .exe Replay, From film formula, I deviate! You open more leeway for cliches! I flattened half of Manhattan. Facin’ J.J.’s payday is a Lost cause, Like any empty threat against this petty mess, I’ll leave you with a dropped jaw You’re just a lukewarm spook who needed more than two forms, To catch a lizard while I tower over your heaviest hitter as a newborn! You’re a giant, gliding spider but I’ll leave you in a tangled web, Weaved of hotter roasts that’ll come at your throat until you’re Strangled, Red! Red: I’ll Tell You a Secret: You’d never reach your level without roids (Ha!) It’s Too Late Now for escape! Data Erased! I’m gonna Destroyah Deviate from film formula? You’re not the first to break the Brooklyn Bridge, bitch You’re King Kong as a chick flick that nitpicked the Blair Witch tricks Even in the most ridiculous alternate endings, you couldn’t win this You Are Weak! More of a Pathetic Worm than the bait I’d fake out this fish with But there’s no one left to save you! It’s Game Over unless this poser yields, The Devil vs an unspecial quadrupedal? The unluckiest Four Leaf Cloverfield Clover: Take up your swimming form; I’m about to blow you out the water, I’m War-locked in my success; Even your creator Would Like a New Monster! Five thousand metric tons of river beast that’ll block the Pathos of your victory, So just like the act every apocalypse reenacts, I’ll be taking the Liberty! You Can’t Break the Ruler of Found Footage Filmography, as even you would say But when diminishing grimacing brats to ash, every day is a good day! I’m Still Alive and wandering the depths; You got beat at your own game! You can’t measure up to a 10th of me, so stay out of Cloverfield’s Lane! Red: So now the rat's bragging about that cash-grabbing sequel as if it’s some kind of safe diss? I was succeeded by a demon! You got replaced by a rapist! Only One Will Survive this fight and I am Not Done With You, Watch the Zenith crew rip you through and call it “mental illness two” Forget anxiety issues; Dementia’s the next curse you’d have to live through, But I Will End This Futile Struggle! No family members left to Miss You You Can’t Win! I bring fluent flows in which the scarier Gamera’ll drown, As this frailer seasnail got nailed when I brought the HammerDown 'Announcer:' WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Rap Meanings Outro Who won? Clover Red HINT DEDUCTIONS: Vs. Charizard - Charizard is, of course, a red, firey monster, making him similar to Red in that regard. Coupled with that, the trainer in Pokemon is named "Red." To add on to that, Red is fleeing from the battle, meaning he is "running," mirroring "RUN" from the NES Godzilla creepypasta. I think this is the first complex hint I've had that you guys guessed all the way, nice. HINT TO THE NEXT BATTLE: Lol this is a thing.png circle depletion confirm.gif Hint_again_again_again.png Why_is_this_on_my_computer.jpg Barnes_and_noble.png Category:Blog posts